in this whole month i faced alot of matter..
no matter work, family or love...
im tired le... very tired...
very stress...
the matter come day by day...
with different different situation... different feeling...
the most really hurt my heart is...
my company suspected me involved in room touting...
tat's really hurt...
they giving me a warning letter... i signed it...
regret...
i alr did my best to change my working attitude...
but i fail to do so... tat's why they will suspect me...
izit becoz my ex collegues or my friends last time is involving too ma...?
wat ever la... i knw what am i doing right now...
im trying my best to change my bad temper n stress in my working life...
and i knw i did it...
coz recently i really feel happy with my work...
n im willing to stay back for OT or other stuff...
not like last time any more....
feel joyful when my meal card full with OT...
besides to earn more money...
it's time for me to save money for future le...
cannot expect much from others...
come to my love matter...
sometimes i really dont want to repeat the same things again n again...
he want me to mix around...
he want me to be more socialise... as he said im bad in interaction...
he want me to take serious with my job...
he want me to be more intelligent..
he want me to be more open minded... not always feel jealous...
he want me to cry less... he dont want me to be so childish...
he want me to think positive...
he want me to be a good n corcern gf to him.. as he said im not enough good for him now...
etc... i rmber what he had told me b4... always in my mind...
he want me to change...
n im in my process... maybe he didnt not understand kua...
sometimes we need some suitable time or suitable place to proof it...
or maybe we need some times or space to change...
like malay proverb "bukan dalam sekelip mata" can done everything...
but when i can did that... i can feel he really dont like...
i really really duno what he rally want from me...
for example.. he want me to more socialise n mix around ma...
so recently i did always go out find my friends n collegue go yum cha..
so that can get closer to each other... so it's easier for working environment.
i first i tot he might be no problem...
but last night i found out actually he is not very happy with that...
he talking to himself in his sleep or maybe in his dreams...
he said that im din care about him anymore...
he said that i more to friends le...
he said that i dint inform him when im doin my OT...
he said that i dint accompany him for his dinner...
n lots more... (keep it as secret)
after hearing that... i ask myself again...
did i did wrong again ma?
what's the problem now...
about my family ne...
i can feel that long time i din go bck to my home le...
kinda got the missing feeling...
always say wanna call bck home but always end up fail to do so...
thinking what to chat with my family..
everyone in my home busy with their own routine...
feel that im a bad daughter lor..
i duno how to be a good eldest sister in my family...
i fail in everything actually...
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2 comments:
hey celine, how are u?!?!
quite a long time didn't hear from u le...
seem like many things happen o...
erm...y u are suspected de?!
the stupid management always suspect people de...
and ur love problem...
i dont know what should i comment la...
but, he seem like want u change everything...
do u request him to change also?!?!
couple should not be like this de...
just u keep improving, but he did not...
last, family problem...erm...i know it's quite hard to contact since FWH is damn busy..
u are tired with the daily job task,
when u are free, u just want to relax with boy or friends,
sure will forget to call back...
when i worked there also like this...
but sometimes, i wont wait until i finish working,
i'll call immediately when i missing them...
even though not much to talk,
i think ur family will feel happy and warm...^^
anything, u can try to sms me when u need a friend...
take care ya...^^
celine....y so many thngs happen to u...aiz...pity pity..
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