Upset With His Behaviour

2day my day is such a terrible day for me...
get scolded from him...
he late for his work 2day n he blamed me...
wat is this??
im working 11pm 7am leh....
i come bck i neeed a good sleep de la...
he working 1pm 9pm but he wake up at 1pm just now...
blame me that i din call him up...
i think im not so free to do so lor....
im sleeping that time k...
why must he like this ne???
one more things..
last nite he couldnt find the tv remote control...
blame me again...
saying that im so forgetfull...
always misplaced his things...
just a small things i coulnt do it right...
haizh... scold la scold la...
i dont mind anymore...
this is not the first time le la...

Another Day For Me

another blue day...
anothet day to go...
day by day....
with pain in my heart...
feel tired all the day...
just now i bck from work i took my bf hp to have look...
i saw a msg tat he send to a girl named MeeiXi...
he asking her out for date!!
that really hurt me...
i drop my tears again....
can it be stop ma...?? please....
what should i do???
keep crying ma???
keep silents ma??
keep in my heart ma??
i feel lost now...

Feeling Down...

just seeing hr oni...
so horrible... it took me 1 hour to wait for the exec...
2 hours to take my statement...
from 4.00pm till 7pm...
so tired... not enough sleep leh....
they ask me so many questions...
some i really duno how to answer them...
coz i really forgotten some of the guest...
1 day we checking in hundred of guest...
the fact saying that im checking in a man without the original guest approach counter...
but comfirm i wont let the guest if the booking is not him or her...
they saying that our dm alr view the cctv le...
the fact saying that i was checking in the man around 1.31pm at counter 8...
sorry lo... i really really forgotten le...
n 1 more things i wont do something that will let my name tercemar lo...
n so do my dad lor... he is the 1 who intro me to work here...
how could i possible betray him lor??
haizh... so now i need wait hr to call me again...
they need to do further investigation about this case...

Feeling Tired

tomorrow im going to see HR regarding my case...
too tired...
im not goin to admit anything coz i NEVER did it...
some of my friends ask me not to be guilty...
yeah... they are right...
i'm following procedure wat...
but im really tired working at here...
the problems keep coming...
it's not easy to handle it...
im not pro... im not genius... im not intelligent...
im just a very weak gal...
luckily i still have some of my collegues are supportive...
if not i might falling down... or maybe giving up...

loving someone suppose to be very happy , 'xinfu' or warm...
but sometimes i find that it's hard... tired too...
how hard i love him or how serious am i in this relationship...
i feel that i get nothing...
i dont get his love his care...
i alr trying my best giving out my best i can...
'bu zhi bu jue' my tears drop in silent...
every night...
hurt in my heart... deep in my heart...
why he treat me this way ne?
izit his love to me fade away ma....
my love for him will always as deep as the sea..
how if i let him go??
will he be happier than to be with me?
but...
i dont want this to be happen... NEVER...
pls do help me...

Sweet & Sour Moment...

in this whole month i faced alot of matter..
no matter work, family or love...
im tired le... very tired...
very stress...
the matter come day by day...
with different different situation... different feeling...
the most really hurt my heart is...
my company suspected me involved in room touting...
tat's really hurt...
they giving me a warning letter... i signed it...
regret...
i alr did my best to change my working attitude...
but i fail to do so... tat's why they will suspect me...
izit becoz my ex collegues or my friends last time is involving too ma...?
wat ever la... i knw what am i doing right now...
im trying my best to change my bad temper n stress in my working life...
and i knw i did it...
coz recently i really feel happy with my work...
n im willing to stay back for OT or other stuff...
not like last time any more....
feel joyful when my meal card full with OT...
besides to earn more money...
it's time for me to save money for future le...
cannot expect much from others...

come to my love matter...
sometimes i really dont want to repeat the same things again n again...
he want me to mix around...
he want me to be more socialise... as he said im bad in interaction...
he want me to take serious with my job...
he want me to be more intelligent..
he want me to be more open minded... not always feel jealous...
he want me to cry less... he dont want me to be so childish...
he want me to think positive...
he want me to be a good n corcern gf to him.. as he said im not enough good for him now...
etc... i rmber what he had told me b4... always in my mind...
he want me to change...
n im in my process... maybe he didnt not understand kua...
sometimes we need some suitable time or suitable place to proof it...
or maybe we need some times or space to change...
like malay proverb "bukan dalam sekelip mata" can done everything...
but when i can did that... i can feel he really dont like...
i really really duno what he rally want from me...
for example.. he want me to more socialise n mix around ma...
so recently i did always go out find my friends n collegue go yum cha..
so that can get closer to each other... so it's easier for working environment.
i first i tot he might be no problem...
but last night i found out actually he is not very happy with that...
he talking to himself in his sleep or maybe in his dreams...
he said that im din care about him anymore...
he said that i more to friends le...
he said that i dint inform him when im doin my OT...
he said that i dint accompany him for his dinner...
n lots more... (keep it as secret)
after hearing that... i ask myself again...
did i did wrong again ma?
what's the problem now...

about my family ne...
i can feel that long time i din go bck to my home le...
kinda got the missing feeling...
always say wanna call bck home but always end up fail to do so...
thinking what to chat with my family..
everyone in my home busy with their own routine...
feel that im a bad daughter lor..
i duno how to be a good eldest sister in my family...
i fail in everything actually...